I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
as a side note pls kill me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize