it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
