Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I want her autograph on my taint
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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