it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
