I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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