I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
