hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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