you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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