It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
