Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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