sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
