I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
