i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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