I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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