You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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