look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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