I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
