what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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