Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
