No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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