I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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