I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
