My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
