We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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