Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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