So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
