That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
