At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
