If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
