Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
