Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
