can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize