yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
