Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
