I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
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I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
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I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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