So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
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You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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