There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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