The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
