Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
