Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
