Im at strip club and am horny
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
