apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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