Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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