Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
