so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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