just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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