It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
