i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Screwed.edu
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
