the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
