tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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