Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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