he thought i was a dude.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
