I hate your face
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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