Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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