I hate all girls vehemently.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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