exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
