come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
