why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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