Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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