After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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