Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
