Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
