I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize