One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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