WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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